I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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