Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize