Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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