I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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