in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
