im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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