4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize