Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
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