my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
