Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
