im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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