She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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