I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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