Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
