i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
