is wine microwaveable?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
