dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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