I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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