I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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