Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize