Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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