I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
