Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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