all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
