you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Two words: blizzard sex
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize