That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
