Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
