I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
