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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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