O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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