i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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