Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
