it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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