Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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