i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
