it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
