She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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