So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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