WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
