where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
