my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize