He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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