Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
