the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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