Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
