is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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