Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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