She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
