He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
