its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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