i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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