It's Friday. Sex?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
