didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
