its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
