Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
