man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
