If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
