Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
