omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
