Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think I won the penis lottery.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
