Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
