i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
