just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize