Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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