I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
