If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Four minutes until I can fart!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
