hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
