then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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