i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
