Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
