I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just tell him i said nine months
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
