we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
