Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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