We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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