I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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