My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
