ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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