Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
