Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
