Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
a search helicopter?!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
